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"Those Families" with Big Vans and Stair Step Children

By Chrisbwah (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0
 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)]s

I am in an interesting position in that I believe in openness to life in the marital covenant, but, being infertile, I have only one child. When you have only one child, people tend to assume that you wanted it that way.  When people assume that you chose to limit the entry of children into your family, they tend to freely say what they think about large families in your presence.

Wow, people think some not so nice things about large families.

I regularly hear smug stories about "those families with big vans" and "a line of stair-step children." I've even been treated to such statements as, "they should sterilize her."  These comments are generally delivered with an elitist tone and a judgmental air.  They tend to be accompanied by statements that question the ability of the mother to provide proper care and attention to each child.  Of course, this questioning is usually advanced by a woman during her workday while her child(ren) is/are in the care of someone else.

I'm not sure how we came to this. I'm not sure when we began to believe that a separate bedroom for each child, expensive gadgets, and freedom from hard work (to allow time to "be a kid) were necessary.  Heaven forbid children should have chores and hand-me-downs.  Honestly, even pro-life Christians regularly treat me to negative evaluations of families with more than 2.5 children.

Granted, there are families who are irresponsible about the care of their children.  This is true of both small and large families.  However, I think that somehow the Christian community has lost sight of the fact that "Children are an heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. (Ps. 127:3)"  Somewhere between the genesis of the option to (attempt to) block the Lord's creative hand with pills and poisons-- and the development of the idea that woman at home are lazy or unpleasantly "chained to the stove"--we've lost sight of what is good and wholesome.  We've also managed to raise a generation of spoiled brats who feel entitled to private university tuition and a subsequest easy helping of the standard of living that their parents worked long and hard to achieve.

Perhaps the pendulum swings?  Maybe the shift in values toward Pro-Life beliefs will carry over to an increase in positive attitudes toward children and families in general?  Time will tell.  In the meantime, those of you who are blessed with the opportunity to build large families for the Lord have my prayers and blessings.

Pax Christi dear ones,
~Michelle

Shared with the blogs on the Blog Hops page.

What Now?

The Ascension
By Vassil (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

"What now?"--I can imagine that is what the disciples were saying to themselves and to one another following the ascension.  Despite the words of Jesus which clearly alluded to the impending ascension, they were caught of guard.  They weren't ready for this; it is not what they had planned or anticipated.

We find ourselves caught of guard by situations in life sometimes, don't we? We thought we had it all planned out, and then the boat flips on us. A solid job turns tenuous. Plans based on a seemingly predictable real estate market are no longer valid because that market has turned. A life built upon a given faith tradition must be adjusted because that tradition has changed course.  Maybe all of these things hit at once, and we are left staring upward, mouths agape, asking "what now?"

Nevertheless I tell you the truth; It is expedient for you that I go away: for if I go not away, the Comforter will not come unto you; but if I depart, I will send him unto you.~John 16:7

Back in medieval times when churches had Holy Ghost holes, a statue of Jesus was actually hauled up through this hole in the church ceiling during the Ascension Day mass.  It was a visual experience of Jesus' departure from this Earth.  I wonder what the effect was.  Did it bring to mind the reality of the transition in the lives of the followers of Jesus?  Did people just worry that the ropes might break? It's hard to say, but it's probably not too difficult to identify with the feelings that the eye witnesses to the Ascension must have had.

A Holy Ghost Hole in a Church Ceiling
By Wolfgang Sauber (Own work) [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html)
 or CC-BY-SA-3.0-2.5-2.0-1.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)]

Of course as soon as Pentecost arrived, those same Medieval-era parishioners had the experience of something else passing through that Holy Ghost hole: a shower of red rose petals.  Petals streamed down upon the congregation to illustrate the coming of the Holy Ghost as Advocate and Comforter on the Day of Pentecost.

At times in course of our own lives, we may feel bewildered, desolate, afraid, even abandoned -- as the disciples may have felt following the ascension, but we may rest assured that we have been gifted with the companionship of the Holy Spirit and the assurance that God is in control and has great plans for us, and that all is grace. 

Pax Christi dear ones,

~Michelle

You might also like:

Rose Petals and Doves:

Pentecost and the Holy Ghost Hole

Infertility Awareness Day: Happy Mothers Day to Mothers of Dreams

A. Gundelach [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html)
 or CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-a/3.0/)]

Infertility is silent pain. It causes one to move through a life filled with contact with countless women who take fertility for granted, or worse, consider it problematic or something to be disdained. Sundays spent filling a tiny section of a pew surrounded by families who fill one bring pain. There's no doubt about it.

We often hear St. Valentine's Day referred to as Singles' Awareness Day.  I'm here to tell you that baby showers and Mothers' Day are both a special kind of Infertility Awareness Day, and they can bring tears.

To those whose homes are more empty than they had hoped-- I get it.  You have had plenty of people through the years offer sappy platitudes, so I'm not going to do that here.  We each find our peace with our situation in our own way.

To those who are blessed with fertility, here's my suggestion: Sent a quick bit of Facebook love to someone who isn't.  Make a phone call.  Send flowers next year.  Don't say why.  Just send a little love.  She's hurting today.

Blessings,
~Michelle

Anglo-Catholics Down the Rabbit Hole

(Disclaimer:

If you are Catholic and are unfamiliar with me or this blog, please know that I love Catholics and, if a reader were to peek in my closet, he or she would probably find one.  (No, I don't have the neighbor locked in my closet; I'm referring to myself here.) It's just that we have, for many years, been distinctly Anglo-Catholic and have a great love for the sublime beauty of Anglican liturgy, patrimony, and tradition.  Please do not misconstrue anything I write here as being "anti-Catholic" or lacking in respect for Roman Catholicism.  It's just me trying to insert some humor into a difficult life transition.

If you are Catholic and are familiar with me or this blog, then deal with it.  You know I love you guys. Smiles.)

Simone Martini [Public domain]

~~~~

My tiny corner of the internet has been quiet for quite a while, I suppose.  You may remember that our family has, along with our parish, been experiencing some rough seas following the departure  of our diocese some years ago from the Episcopal Church.  Much of that was resolved recently, only to be followed by a final crashing wave that was quite unexpected, and caused us to finally own up to the fact that Anglicanism (even through our heavily Tractarian lens) will always be, at its heart, intrinsically Protestant, and we--well--just aren't.

Question: So--What now then?

<insert the melodic chirping of Anglo-Catholic crickets here>

Answer: We're not sure yet.

At any rate, in the midst of our indecision, and feeling quite like motherless children, we donned our church attire--veils and all, because we are whom we are-- and headed to the local Roman Catholic church.

So?

Well, this did not happen.  [Remember that disclaimer? :P ]

Here then, are our reactions:

1) We now know where all of the babies, toddlers, and young men under age 80 are.  You Catholics have them.  All of them.  (Seriously, there are no Anglicans, other than us, under age 80.)  I am now fully aware that the Catholic church may be my only possible route to grandchildren.  (If you don't hear from me within 48 hours, please send the authorities -- because it will mean that my daughter has read this and has locked me in the closet with the neighbor.)

By Wilfredor (Own work) [CC0], via Wikimedia Commons

2) The Novus Ordo mass is not the Kumbaya session that I had anticipated.  It was actually quite lovely. I felt no compulsion whatsoever to break out the smores. The two masses (Roman Catholic and Anglo-Catholic) are essentially identical, although there are parts of the language of the Anglican mass that I felt a twinge of aching for. Let's face it, the English do English exquisitely well.

3)  "Consubstantial with?"  I like the theological depth. I'm just wondering how many of the people in the pews really get it.

4) I loved--seriously loved-- the fact that the announcements were held until the end.  I'm not sure if this is widely held Catholic practice, or just typical of this particular parish, but it added so much to the fluidity of the mass. I have always felt that the association of the announcements with the passing of the peace sort of bisects the Anglican mass into two separate liturgies by stopping the mass short -- engaging in a quick garden party -- and then pressing "play" again on the mass. I did not feel this at all today in this Catholic mass. It was far more fluid.

5)The music was different from what we are used to, but Anglicanism is known for its music and pageantry, so I was sort of expecting that.

6) I wasn't expecting the general confession at the beginning.  I had always assumed that we (Anglicans) had sort of created that, since private confession -- while available to us -- is not required of us.

7) Standing to receive communion -- I do not love this idea.  At all.  I'm not saying it is wrong.  In fact, if memory serves, it is the more ancient practice.  I'm just saying that I do not love it.  At all.
[No we did not partake.  Please do not panic.  :) ]

8) We were in the back, but counted quite a few cups on the altar.  I'm guessing this means that communion was received in both kinds?  Could you hear my sigh of relief across the country?

By Ajuntament de Sant Vicenç de Montalt
 (Ajuntament de Sant Vicenç de Montalt)
 [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) 

9)  There was no incense, but I suppose I could get over that, other than on High Holy Days.  At the Easter Vigil, all bets are off.

9)  We still bowed when the processional cross passed.  All three of us.  "When in Rome" only goes so far, and some habits are too strong to be broken.  :)

10)  I was impressed by the general attire of the congregation.  Somehow, I expected folks to be dressed more casually, but they weren't for the most part.  There were suits and ties and dresses.  We, in all of our Anglo-Catholic stuffiness, loved that.  

11)  I have always loved the fact that the gospel is read from the center of the aisle in Anglican churches.  I think there is something beautiful and meaningful about the words of Christ being delivered in the midst of the people--just as they were by our Lord himself. I did miss that.

12)Babies!  And children!  And teenagers!  And young adults!  Did I mention that?  Seriously, you have no idea what a difference this is.  We actually couldn't hear parts of the homily because of the young children.  It was so awesome!--You have no idea.  Although--I was reminded what it is like to feel the pain of infertility at church, being surrounded by all those families.

13) After a couple of decades of driving two hours round trip to church, we left twenty minutes before the start of the mass today.  Five minutes in the car, that was it.  That was almost as welcome as the babies and the prospect of grandchildren.  (Okay, she's really going to lock me in the closet now.)

14) This church was beautiful.  Parting with our resplendent church building is excruciating, especially knowing that under the (newly court established) ownership of the Episcopal Church her fate is not at all certain.  Our local Catholic Church is lovely though; we were pleased.

15)  Mostly, it just wasn't really very different at all.  ...Okay, I missed things like this:

Almighty God, to you all hearts are open, all desires known, 

and from you no secrets are hid: Cleanse the thoughts of our 
hearts by the inspiration of your Holy Spirit, that we may 
perfectly love you, and worthily magnify your holy Name; 
through Christ our Lord. Amen.

...but other than the language of the mass, it wasn't all that different.  I'm not intending to minimize the theological differences between the Catholic Church's doctrinal solidity and the latitude that the Anglican Communion allows its more Protestant-leaning members -- but for a family that lies on the very Anglo-Catholic end of Anglicanism's Catholic-to-Protestant-continuum, it was pretty much a normal Sunday, other than not receiving communion, which...
...well, let's just say it's gonna be a tough week.  Please pray for us.

Pax Christi dear ones,
I pray you are well and resting in the Peace of Christ,
~Michelle

By the way: For those of you who are caught of guard by the notion that we are not Roman Catholic, ("What the heck?!")  <Smiles>

This:

Are We at Liturgical Time Catholic?

You might also enjoy:

Catholics Cannot Have a Personal Relationship with Jesus

Tears for Boston

By 4028mdk09 (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0
 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

"Keep watch, dear Lord, with those who work, or watch, or weep this night, and give your angels charge over those who sleep.  Tend the sick, Lord Christ; give rest to the weary, bless the dying, soothe the suffering, pity the afflicted, shield the joyous; and all for your love's sake. Amen."

~Order for Compline, Book of Common Prayer

May the hand of God rest gently upon Boston this night, and upon all those who call themselves free.
May we rest softly in his mother's embrace,

And may God bless America.

The Legend of the Monk and the Merchant: A Book Review

In your local bookstore, there is a "Religion and Spirituality" section, and there is a "Business and Finance" section.  One does not generally expect the two to intersect.  I'm not sure, though, which section this book belongs in.

Terry Felber's The Legend of the Monk and the Merchant: Twelve Keys to Successful Living is at once a Christian journey and an exercise in business and financial skills development. Both are areas which interest me.  I expect though, to study them separately.  Not so here.

For the reader who is engaged in the marketplace, Ferber imparts wisdom through the engaging tale of Antonio, a successful sixteenth century Venetian businessman passing his knowledge on to a grandson who will follow in his footsteps.  In the process, he gifts the reader with spiritual insight into the relationship that money has to worship  of God and service to mankind.

Our modern society is increasingly coming to see success in business as inherently evil, rather than as an opportunity for good.  This book is the perfect anecdote to that misunderstanding of the role of money.  As Dave Ramsey states in his foreword to the book, "...my goal for you is that you start to experience a paradigm shift, that you'll come to view everything you do in the marketplace as an act of holiness that will forever change the way you do business."

This book is a treat, particularly for those engaged in business or wrestling with the reconciliation of the marketplace with Christianity.


This book was a Review Copy sent by the publisher — common practice in the industry. No payment was accepted in exchange for a review or mention, and the reviewer was in no way obligated to review the book favorably.