It's about one week away,..Christmas. Three weeks of Advent have come and gone. For all my talk of preparation and waiting, have I waited? Have I prepared? There comes a day in every preparatory liturgical season when the awareness washes over me that the event I've been waiting upon stands almost at the door. It happens to me in Lent, too. I'm suddenly aware of a season more than half over, and so ill used. The time is slipping progressively away, and I have so much left to do...prayer, contemplation, self examination. I seem to be convicted of doing more thinking about doing these things, than actually doing them. My prayer beads lay untouched this Advent season. Three weeks. Can you believe it? I have not spent enough time in the Word. I've been too distracted by all the noise in my head from thoughts that I ought to spend more quiet time in the Word, this season...to settle down and do it. The beads are meant to center me, to hone my focus and rivet it upon him, but they cannot if I leave them untouched, and cold.
He stands at the door and knocks, and I am...dependent upon his grace. I am unprepared.
~~~~~
My 45th birthday approaches soon. Forty-five years have come and nearly gone. My season is probably a little more than half over. Have I accomplished what I set out to do? Have I even decided fully what I wish to set out to do?
I am unprepared. I have spent 45 years rushing about, thinking on what I should be doing.
He stands at the door and knocks. He will, God willing, be there for many years to come, on the other side of the thin veil of this dust and sweat existence. Perhaps, this year, this Advent, I will learn to simply open the door, sit a spell with him, pick up the prayer beads in the quiet, and listen to his presence.
Life is an Advent. I am dependent upon his grace. It washes over me and stills my hurried soul. He is born in me...again. I am born, and I am redeemed.
~~~~~
He is enough, friends. We will never be enough; he is more than enough. Be at Peace. Be Well.
Pax Christi,
~Michelle
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I have been having the same thoughts, asking myself the same questions. I picked my prayer beads up again just yesterday.
ReplyDeleteBlessings and peace to you this Advent,
juanita
Oh, Michelle, your words and thought make me think of my father, who finally came to Jesus in his 60's. We never thought he would. On thing that made me wonder, though was that he never began to read the Bible, but he did change and had fruit. It is never too late, is it? I thank you for your passion for our Savior! Keep sharing His love, dear friend!
ReplyDeleteIt never is too late, and as long as we are sensitive to the knocking, we will be reaching for the opening door. There is enough time and we are not ever to think we have arrived...we are simply on the way...
ReplyDeleteI feel that nearly every Christmas and Easter. Time slips away and I feel less prepared than I had wanted, and thus, life too. May we just slow down enough to receive him in this season for today. Blessings!
ReplyDeleteMichelle, this is a startling revelation: "My season is probably a little more than half over." I'm getting ready to celebrate my 43rd in March and I have been feeling this a bit too. The older I get, the more I realize how much I want to do still. My prayer has been for God to use me. All of my life.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you linked up to Playdates. I'm behind on my visiting :). Life is that way during Advent, I guess. Thanks for waiting...
Oh, Michelle, this gave me little goosebumps! I can entirely relate to all your thoughts. Thanks for contributing to the Nativity Carnival.
ReplyDeleteI am 30 years older than you are. It is amazing how quickly those last 30 years have passed. It's amazing how fast all 75 years have passed. I like this post very much. I especially like that last sentence. We will never be enough, but He is more than enough. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Charlotte
After I posted my comment, I realized I was logged in under my husband's profile. The comment was from me, not Clif.
ReplyDeleteCharlotte
I figured that out Charlotte. =) Thank you for your kind comment; it brightened my day...and drove home that time passes so quickly. It seems to speed up for me every year. I so want to make them count for Our Lord, and for my family.
ReplyDeleteI am purusing your husbands website right now. http://clif74blog.blogspot.com/. It is wonderful.
Blessing, Michelle
And so is yours!
ReplyDeletehttp://athomeinscottsdale.blogspot.com/