Virtue Challenge: Poised and Modest

This is part 6 of a series.  Part 5 is here.

Elyse is participating in YALs Virtue Challenge. She is posting weekly about her experiences. You will find more about the Virtue Challenge and a linkup of posts here. Elyse is 18 years old. She is a sophomore at Bakersfield College and is working toward a degree in Microbiology. She assists in the Veil Shop and enjoys reading, writing, and time with friends.  I suppose I should also add that she is a Halo addict, even though it hardly seems appropriate here.  :)

Week Six: Poised and Modest

This submission is a little late, but I’d prefer it to be late and written with genuine inspiration rather than something I cranked out off the top of my head. (And I wander...a lot.) The topic of this blog post will be the movie Brave, which was really popular and then sorta got replaced by Guardians. (Which is also a cute movie…anyway. Back to the post.)

Brave speaks to me.

It’s not because Brave is a cute story or because Brave has great animation or funny accents or a really cute main character with adorable frizzy hair.

It’s because Brave isn’t Mulan.

Don’t get me wrong, I like Mulan.

But Mulan isn’t Brave.

Mulan is a story about a girl who has to evince her strength and worthiness by becoming like a man.

Brave is the exact opposite.

There is one scene that will always stay in my mind, and I’m sure those who have seen it and appreciate it like I do are thinking of it right now. I don’t remember the exact details, but I remember the imagery.

It took place in a grand meeting hall, where all the clan/group/whatever-they’re-called leaders had met (I think to show off their sons as potential suitors for Merida, the princess). Something had set them off, and they had begun beating each other to pulps with all manner of weapons and stupidity. It was complete chaos.

But then there was the queen. All she had to do was stand up and walk.

That’s it. Just walk.

She held her head high and her back was straight, her gait was graceful but purposeful.

She walked, and the men fell like sheaves of wheat out of her path.

She didn’t pick up a great big axe or hammer or candelabrum or pig femur or whatever else they were beating each other with and fight her way through.

She just walked.

What Brave communicates is that there is power in femininity. There is power in being a woman, just like there is power in being a man. But femininity is a woman’s power, as masculinity is a man’s. They’re separate, but they complement each other. A woman can still be brave and strong, but there is bravery and strength in being feminine.

Modesty is a woman’s power. Like it or not, the body is the main source of a woman’s power. Because men are mainly visual, they see first. And when they see a woman who is her body, who is her breasts or who is her legs, they see breasts and legs. When they see a woman who is covered and modest, they have to see the girl, rather than her body.

Christian men are still men—they still see breasts and legs (and hopefully they love them, but when the time is proper). But our duty as women is to help men move toward Christ by not making it hard for them to do so. It’s not a battle of, “I’m going to test you to see how holy you think you are.” It’s more like, “Here, how about I cover up so it’s easier for you to think holy thoughts?”  It isn’t fair to them for us to make things difficult.

And it’s not just for men. Modesty is for women, too. Ourselves. Our bodies are temples, and they should be treated as such. We need to respect ourselves in order to be respected. We are not breasts and legs; we are children of Christ, created in His image.

Maybe I’ll write a post specifically about Brave and how it shows strength and womanhood are the same.

Who knows?

And you know you all want a My Little Pony quote:

Just because somepony is lady-like doesn’t make her weak. In fact, by using her wits, a seemingly defenseless pony can be the one who outsmarts and outshines them all.

- Twilight Sparkle

 ~   Elyse

~~~~~~
Next Week's Virtue:

Nurturing and Welcoming

~~~~~~

Elyse is linking up her Virtue Challenge posts here:

(You are invited to link up too.)

For more about the Virtue Challenge,

Visit YAL:

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Virtue Challenge: Avoiding Drama

This is part 5 of a series.  Part 4 is here.

Elyse is participating in YALs Virtue Challenge. She is posting weekly about her experiences. You will find more about the Virtue Challenge and a linkup of posts here. Elyse is 18 years old. She is a sophomore at Bakersfield College and is working toward a degree in Microbiology. She assists in the Veil Shop and enjoys reading, writing, and time with friends.  I suppose I should also add that she is a Halo addict, even though it hardly seems appropriate here.  :)

Week Four: Understands that Drama is a Major Turn Off

This week is about how “drama is a major turn-off.” Honestly I have to admit the wording took me by surprise, in a drolly humorous kind of way. But that aside, I completely agree with this (to a degree, anyway, because in reality I sprint away from drama like the guy from Temple Run, but in fiction I give my characters dramadramadramadramadramadrama until they can't stand anymore and have to crawl from their positions on the ground.). What I say may not necessarily be the most poetic, or the sweetest, or the most holy-sounding, but it’s the truth from my perspective, in an unprepared and thrown-together way.

 Of course, there is a different between drama and finding support from others. People are fragile. God is our greatest source of support but He didn’t put people on the planet to be alone, He put us on Earth to be together, to help each other, and to learn with and from one another.

But, as aforementioned, there is a difference between garnering support and whining. Whining is forcing sympathy from others, and most of the time that sympathy is false simply because it’s leeched from places in others that aren’t genuine or truly sympathetic. People should always try and be kind to others, but sometimes it’s not easy, especially if one can tell that another is fishing for compliments or comfort. That makes people reluctant to be supportive.

I have never really been one to whine or complain; I’m actually a little too reticent when it comes to things like this. It’s hard for me to ask for help or sympathy because I dislike sounding as though I’m asking for support (but more recently I’ve become more open to doing so, much like the rest of my spiritual life. It’s kind of like I hit 18 and my spiritual life took off.). So this has never personally been a big problem, but I’ve experienced times when others have done the leeching for my sympathy, and it takes a lot of work and patience to not get irritated. One of the things that I always try my best to do is to listen, to be open to others’ problems, and to help them with those problems, but even I sometimes get stretched too thin. This can be dangerous for friendships. Someone I barely knew came on very strong with his (and these pronouns are simply for convenience, this doesn’t mean the person is a male) troubles and it took a lot of effort not to shut him out completely. I saw that he was having trouble, and that he needed someone to listen, and I tried to be there for him…but I won’t lie and say it wasn’t hard. It was. It was very hard.  But I feel called to helping people, so I stuck around.

I’ve probably strayed off topic but I’ve started letting myself ramble, because these topics are sometimes difficult for me to produce verbose responses for (not only that, but I worry that I will write something and then a couple days later think, "Why did I write that? That's not how I feel."). Now, continuing off-course…

I think most people expect girls to be full of drama, whiney, and constantly digging around for sympathy, but it’s not true. Boys can be exactly the same, so it’s necessary for both genders to be careful when it comes to how they ask for support. It doesn’t necessarily take small steps to turn people away, but it doesn’t necessarily take large steps, either.

Then, of course, there’s the type of drama that doesn’t stem from some need for support. There’s just the drama that’s there to be drama, there for girls or boys to gossip about and get emotional over, there for them to occupy their time. This is worse than neediness, because it doesn’t have any source which people can understand and see innocence beneath. It’s like drugs.

DON’T DO IT, KIDS.

By Editor at Large, based on original masks by Booyabazooka (Own work including Image:Drama-icon.svg) [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/)], via Wikimedia Commons

- Elyse

~~~~~~
Next Week's Virtue:

Poised and Modest

~~~~~~

Elyse is linking up her Virtue Challenge posts here:

(You are invited to link up too.)

For more about the Virtue Challenge,

Visit YAL:

 Don't miss a post:

Follow @LiturgicalTime

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Virtue Challenge: Does Not Gossip and Is Not Rude

This is part 4 of a series.  Part 3 is here.

(Elyse is participating in YALs Virtue Challenge. She is posting weekly about her experiences. You will find more about the Virtue Challenge and a linkup of posts here. Elyse is 18 years old. She is a sophomore at Bakersfield College and is working toward a degree in Microbiology. She assists in the Veil Shop and enjoys reading, writing, and time with friends.)

Week Three: Does Not Gossip and Is Not Rude

Everybody gossips. It’s just about impossible to not gossip. Gossiping has become a normal part of the culture; magazines flourish on gossip, hurtful or otherwise, teenagers spread them like wildfire through high school and college, and even those who do not intend to sometimes end up participating in it. Gossip isn’t necessarily just whispering bad things behind people’s backs, gossiping may be spreading untruths with good intentions. But lies always lead to bad places, and shouldn’t be put out into the world in the first place. When I think about it, and about how gossiping isn’t just spreading rumors, I realize that I do it. It’s hard for me to look at situations that I deem as immature, or doomed to failure, and to not make comments and complain to those who are close to me to release steam and to get validation from those close to me. Having support is important, but having support by standing on the backs of others is not something to be proud of. There are many situations right now in my life that fit that circumstance, but I learn little bits all the time that come together as a picture of my purpose: It is not my duty to tell other people what is wrong, but to bring them to God and let Him show them how to live righteously.

I have, personally, never been a victim of gossip. Or bullying, or anything else normal teenagers go through under that genre of torment, for that matter. For some reason I always manage to stay under the radar of those who wish to hurt me intentionally. I don't know how I did it through high school, but I did. I suppose it is because I always chose my friends carefully. However, I do understand the pain that some go through with rumors. I have had friends who have suffered nasty rumors and see the torment that they go through. Hurting another person, in any way, is never worth it, and is never right.

By Rebecca Kennison (Own work) [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html), CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/) or CC-BY-2.5 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.5)], via Wikimedia Commons

Then there’s being rude. Being rude never breeds any positive results, only frustration and affront and reciprocity of similar treatment. Behaving in a way that is disrespectful or unkind, first of all, doesn’t make anyone like the person behaving that way. Almost everyone deserves respect, and those who don’t should receive it anyway because they ought to see an example of how a person should act. Civility is something lost in our culture today; it’s acceptable to be rude, to speak to someone with inappropriate language, and to treat elders poorly. Personally, I believe this is because there are no consequences for actions any longer. Nowadays, if a child misbehaves, the parents defend that child against another who complains. What kind of message is this sending youth? The wrong one. Children used to get paddled in schools, and as gruesome as it sounds, maybe some kids should get a little bottom-smack now and then.

"Gossip is the Devil's radio" - George Harrison

(I don't even like the Beatles.)

- Elyse

~~~~~~
Next Week's Virtue:

Understands that Drama 

is a Major Turn Off

~~~~~~

Elyse is linking up her Virtue Challenge posts here:

(You are invited to link up too.)

For more about the Virtue Challenge,

Visit YAL:

 Don't miss a post:

Follow @LiturgicalTime

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Delivered by FeedBurner

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Virtue Challenge: Flexibility

This is part 3 of a series.  Part 2 is here.

(Elyse is participating in YALs Virtue Challenge. Last week's virtue was "Patience." She will be posting weekly about her experiences. You will find more about the Virtue Challenge and a linkup of posts here. Elyse is 18 years old. She is a sophomore in college working toward a degree in Microbiology. She assists in the Veil Shop and enjoys reading, writing, and time with friends.)

Week Three: Flexibility

This week nothing distinct happened to me revolving around this week’s subject, flexibility. I’ve spent all day thinking about it, while we went into town and did our shopping, and after we got back home, but haven’t been able to find an example. (So much for my comment last week about how these virtues are everywhere! It must be somewhere, I’m just not seeing it.) So, this week, I chose to write about flexibility in life and why it is so important, rather than a personal experience.

Flexibility is, first and foremost, important in relationships. Friendship, marriage, familial relationships…all of them require that those involved must be able to bend, at least just a bit. The only way for a marriage to work, for example, is if each person is able to make sacrifices for the other.

Christmas for one spouse may be celebrated differently than the way in which the other spouse celebrates, which can dredge up contention even over a joyous holiday. One may want children to open presents on Christmas Eve, the other may want them to wait. Even small things like these can make cracks that grow of the two are too rigid to bend for each other.

No one should be so brittle as to break. Living requires that we change course when need be, that we adjust to pleasant or unpleasant happenings. Life is about growth, and even pines will snap if they cannot bend to weather the storm.

Deborah Tilley [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

- Elyse

~~~~~~

Next Week's Virtue:

Doesn’t Gossip and is not Rude

Elyse will be linking up her Virtue Challenge posts here:

(You are invited to link up too.)

For more about the Virtue Challenge,

Visit YAL:

Linked with:

Blogs on the Blog Hops page.

Virtue Challenge: Patience

This is part 2 of a series.  Part 1 is here.

(Elyse is participating in YALs Virtue Challenge. Last week's virtue was "Patience." She will be posting weekly about her experiences. You will find more about the Virtue Challenge and a linkup of posts here. Elyse is 18 years old. She is a sophomore in college working toward a degree in Microbiology. She assists in the Veil Shop and enjoys reading, writing, and time with friends.)

Week Two: Patience

                So this week I worked on patience. I’m trying to ruminate on this week’s events to find the best example of patience that I experienced. Having class only two days a week doesn’t necessarily proffer many opportunities to seek out particular virtues! Yet at the same time, these virtues suffuse life in every aspect, and when I get down to the nitty-gritty, I notice that the simplest things can be used as examples.

                This week I met a girl in my beginning piano class. (Though I doubt she, or anyone I mention, will ever read this blog, I’ll keep names to myself just for the sake of privacy.) She came in a bit late (to class, and to the entire course) and I offered to let her share my piano for the lesson she had attended. As class progressed, she explained to me about how she was on the waiting list and how none of what we were doing was making any sense of her. I understood this, because without the basics, piano is confusing as heck. Just like any instrument.

                But as class went on, she kept talking. I found it hard to concentrate, and found myself getting lost while trying to be kind and contributory to her and her conversation as well as following the lesson. Then after class she walked with me as I headed down to my car.

                It was then that she explained she had just moved to town, and wasn’t having an easy time making friends. She told me it was difficult for her, because she had moved from a big city and where she now lived was just about opposite from where she was used to. I found out that she was used to being surrounded by people and was voted most talkative in her old yearbook. I could see why—I couldn’t get a word in edgewise. But although it was a little rankling, it was more important to me that I try to be friendly to her because I understood why she was a bit uncomfortable. My only hope now is that she finds some great friends to spend her time with.

By Eeretika (Own work) [CC-BY-2.5 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.5)], via Wikimedia Commons

Ecclesiastes 7:9

Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the bosom of fools.

- Elyse

Week Three is here:
Flexibility

~~~~~~

Elyse will be linking up her Virtue Challenge posts here:

(You are invited to link up too.)

For more about the Virtue Challenge,

Visit YAL:

Linked with:

Blogs on the Blog Hops page.

Virtue Challenge: Grace and Sincerity

(Elyse is participating in YALs Virtue Challenge. Last week's virtue was "Graceful and Sincere."
She will be posting weekly about her experiences. You will find more about the Virtue Challenge and a linkup of posts here. Elyse is 18 years old. She is a sophomore in college working toward a degree in Microbiology. She assists in the Veil Shop and enjoys reading, writing, and time with friends.)

Week One: Grace and Sincerity

So here’s my first report! The virtues I worked on this week were being graceful and sincere. At first I couldn’t think of what I should write about, but then I thought of something that had happened to me over the past couple of weeks and thought that it was both relevant and fitting.

Before I explain the circumstances, I’d like to make one thing clear: I hate hurting people. The hardest thing for me to do is tell someone “no” when I know it will upset them. So being graceful and sincere in these circumstances always proves a little tough for me. (It’s always a little awkward for me to talk about this particular thing because I feel like I’m trying to draw attention to myself.) I also haven't written blog posts before, so bear with me! As soon as I get used to it, the posts will likely be more meaningful and expressive.

Gaston de La Touche [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

A few months ago I met a boy. We became friends pretty quickly. He asked me out once, and I told him I didn’t think we were compatible as gently as I could. However, I was convinced that he still might be interested in me. This lasted a few weeks, and I expressed my concerns to a few of my friends who knew him well. They kept telling me to “break his heart” since, apparently, that’s the only way to get through to him. I didn’t understand why they kept telling me to do something that I found harsh and cruel, so I put it off, hoping that he would get the message. But it also wasn’t fair of me to hide behind my nerves and to not tell it to him straight. He deserved to hear the truth.

The other night I was spending time with another friend, one who also knew this boy well, and the topic arose again because it had still been rankling me. He explained to me that being cruel wasn’t necessary, but being blunt was. I had to be truthful and clear. Clear, but clear didn't mean harsh. 

I was lucky enough that, just that night, I had a conversation with the boy that allowed me to sneak in informing him that I wasn’t interested in anyone. I told the truth, but I didn’t specifically target him and we both got away unscathed. 

Colossians 4:6

Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.

- Elyse

This was part one of a series.  Part two is here.
~~~~~~

Elyse will be linking up her Virtue Challenge posts here:

(You are invited to link up too.)

For more about the Virtue Challenge,

Visit YAL:

Linked with:

Blogs on the Blog Hops page.

Virtue Challenge Update

Are you following along with Sarah Swafford's Virtue Challenge at The You are Loved Campaign?

Get ready for this week's virtue!  Here it is:

Patience

Elyse is participating and will be linking up her posts here:
(You are invited to link up too.)

Visit YAL:

We trust and pray that you are having a blessed and holy Sabbath day,

Pax Christi dear ones,

~Michelle

Elyse Takes on the Virtue Challenge with YAL

The linkup is at the bottom of the post.
Scroll down to read or link-up Virtue Challenge posts!
Facebook links are fine, provided they are public and Virtue Challenge related.

“Can you imagine a man and a woman, striving for virtue, coming together? What chemistry! Lasting chemistry, because it is not all about emotions—it’s about Christ. They have developed virtuous habits. You know that you can trust this person. They are not using you to fill insecurities or want you around because they don’t want to be alone. A virtuous person wants what is best for others, and in turn finds happiness in the freedom to love and give, even sacrifice." *

Inspired by the girls at the You Are Loved Campaign, Elyse will be taking on the challenge raised by them regarding Sarah Swafford's Virtue Challenge.
In Sarah's own words, the challenge goes like this:

"The Virtue Challenge is this: Each week there will be a men’s virtue and a women’s virtue that is our theme. Write it down; set it in stone. Put it in a place where you will see it. Try to make a list of three specific ways you are going to live out that virtue in your life. Then, at the end of the week, evaluate yourself. You may even want to find a “running mate” a work-out buddy who knows the challenge you have set for yourself and holds you accountable. At the end of the week, look at what you have done to work towards your goal. Just like a runner who felt the ache of working out for the first few days – it will be hard. But once you have built endurance and stamina, you will be able to run for miles, and eventually something will feel as though it is missing if you don’t get your run in.”*

*~From Sarah Swafford @ EmotionalVirtue.com

A group of girls associated with the You are Loved Campaign (YAL) have gathered on a Facebook group page to encourage each other in reaching their virtuous goals! YAL states: “All of the traits on these lists are forms of virtue. Now, remember, no one is perfect, but a person who is striving for these virtues is a man or woman on a mission. The mission is greatness. We are currently on our third week but they have a long way to go! Then after we finish this list, they have a whole lifetime! This is a mission.” If you would like to join them, follow this link:

The YAL virtue for January 7-14, 2013, is:

Elyse will be taking up the challenge and blogging about her experiences here.

We have also created a link-up for others to share their Virtues Challenge posts so that we all might be built up and encouraged. Elyse will be linking her posts here, and you may too.  Please use the virtue you are reflecting on as the title in the linky. You'll find the link-up at the bottom of this post.

Interested? Follow along!

If you link to the blog hop, please create a text link back to the hop, or grab the button, so that others may join in and benefit from the posts.

Grab the Linkup Button!
Here's the code:

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Here are the virtues*:

FEMININE:
- In control of her emotions
- Gentle & Kind
- Graceful & Sincere 
- Patient & Flexible 
- Doesn’t gossip, is not rude 
- Understands that drama is a major turn off 
- Poised, modest (“Her clothes are tight enough to know she is a woman, but loose enough to know she’s a lady.”) 
- Nurturing & welcoming 
- Joyful & Fun 
- Honest Loyal 
- Has self-confidence

CONFIDENT: 
- In control of her emotions
- Stands up for what is right
- Courage, not afraid to confront someone respectfully 
- Genuinely excited for another, not jealous/vain 
- Intelligent 
- Speaks with conviction 
- A true leader Forgives 
- Responsible 
- Prudent; 
- Sensitive to the needs of others

VIRTUOUS: 
- In control of her emotions
- Puts others first 
- Excellence in all things: chastity, sobriety, and academic excellence 
- Pushes herself, is not lazy 
- Balance & order
- Charity & service 
- Trustworthy
- Pure

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Boys’ Challenge:
Masculine:
- In control of his emotions
- Leader 
- Provider 
- Protector 
- Initiator 
- Chivalrous
- Brave/Courageous 
- Gentle 
- Intuitive 
- Honorable 
- Joyful & Fun

Confident: 
- In control of his emotions 
- Stands up for what is right 
- Courage, not afraid to confront someone respectfully 
- Genuinely excited for another, not jealous/vain 
- Intelligent 
- Speaks with conviction 
- A true leader 
- Responsible 
- Prudent
- Honest 
- Sensitive to the needs of others

Virtuous: 
- In control of his emotions 
- Puts others first 
- Excellence in all things: chastity, sobriety, and academic excellence 
- Pushes himself, is not lazy 
- Balance & order 
- Charity & service 
- Forgives 
- Trustworthy 
- Loyal 
- Pure

*~From Sarah Swafford @ EmotionalVirtue.com

***This is a specialized linkup.  Please link only Virtue Challenge posts.***

Here's the Hop: