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Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Feminist Angst at the Cutting Table

Friedrich von Amerling [Public domain]
,via Wikimedia Commons
As I stood at the cutting counter in the fabric store, I knew she was going to do it.  She had that look -- slightly puzzled, curious. I've seen that look often as I have brought full bolts of lace to the cutting ladies and requested that they measure out "all of it." They're accustomed to measuring out a yard or two -- not the whole bolt. They are thinking,"What on Earth is she planning to do with 30-some yards of multiple colors of lace?" Then they do it.  They ask, "What are you making?"

Truth be told, I hate the question. "Veils," I say, "headcoverings for church and prayer." Then, I wait to see which of the predictable responses will follow -- stiffness?, a sudden break of eye contact? Will she stand up taller, square her shoulders, think of her grandmother who fought for women's rights, and give me glaring, angry eyes? Will she display incredulousness?

Once, I got a sweet Catholic lady in her fifties. She smiled, excited, and reminisced, "We used to wear those when I was a girl."  Phew...that was a great day.

Ultimately, I do not give much thought to these reactions, beyond the immediate moment. They are based on assumptions and inaccurate or incomplete information. I know the women for whom I handcraft veils. I create headcoverings with prayer, because whether I have met or spoken with the women who will wear them or not, I know these women by their choices. These women are not demeaned; they are devotional. They are not property; they are prayerful. My ladies are not timid; they are triumphant--not enslaved, but Spirit-filled.

It is not a weak woman who presses back against a tide of progressive cultural pressure to hold firmly to the cherished tradition of an earlier time. A frail woman does not stand firm to the call she's been given against the overbearing weight of popular judgment and even scorn. She is not a bit of fluff. She knows her mind, and she knows her God.

She is a woman reverencing an all powerful and loving God who offers her a place in the Kingdom and calls her "daughter." Of this woman, and of the sign of dignity and honor she wears upon her head as she approaches His Holy Table, I am not ashamed.

God bless ladies who veil and ladies who don't.
God bless ladies who show respect and kindness to those who prayerfully make choices different than their own.
We are loved by an Almighty and Infinite God.

Pax Christi dear ones,
~Michelle

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16 comments:

  1. Wow, Michelle. Thank you. I'm sharing this.

    Really... thank you for this. And for your ministry of creating such beautiful veils. <3

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  2. Hi! I'm coming over from EOA on Wednesdays :)

    You write so well, I really enjoy what you have to say. Though I don't veil, I really respect women who do, like yourself.

    I have had these kind of reactions in the past when I have told someone I "only" worked part-time (like 10-14 hours a week) because I enjoyed caring for my husband and home - with no children. Meeting people, I have always dreaded that question, "So what do you do?" But slowly, God has helped me become more and more confident about what I am doing. It is ironic that I really believe in the choices my husband and I have made for us, and yet, still struggle with the sinful need for approval.

    So, it's nice reading this about something else!

    Blessings to you, sister :)

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    Replies
    1. :) Good response and an interesting connection I'd've never thought of. Kudos to you for recognizing the happiness you and your husband have found - even at the expense of others' approval. May you continue to be blessed. :)

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    2. Gina's right! It's not easy to stand behind what you know is right for you and follow the calling that you have received when it is contrary to what secular society supports.

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  3. Michelle, oh you just made me so nostalgic. I grew up cradle Catholic and we used to wear mantillas. I miss that. It is amazing the things people wear to church these days.

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  4. I don't headcover, but I am surprised by the reactions you've gotten. Do you think it has gotten worse since Islam and its use of veils has been more in the public eye in the last decade or so?

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    Replies
    1. Ooo -good question. Curious of the answer!

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    2. I think this may well be true. It brings to mind the negative reactions Cam noted in the fabric store, after moving to Michigan, when buying fabric for snoods for her shop. If I am remembering correctly (I certainly could be wrong), she noted more negative reactions than she had experienced previously in California and Florida. My immediate thought upon reading that, was of Michigan's high Muslim population and the backlash that has occurred. I'm not suggesting that bias against any religious group is acceptable, but only that it does occur, and that headcovering is certainly associated with Muslim women.

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  5. This is such a great article on the attitude behind the covering! I just shared it on our Facebook group for covering Christians.

    https://www.facebook.com/groups/603255093021693/

    Have a great day!
    Mrs. Sarah Coller

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  6. If I happened to work at the a fabric store I would totally ask you what you were making. I am pretty nosy like that. But my response to you would be "Wow! That is so awesome!"

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    Replies
    1. Haha! :) I don't really mind the question. I would imagine that they ask just about everyone. It's just that after a while, one tends to brace oneself for the strong reactions. Your response would be a fun one to receive. :)

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  7. Your true resolve and conviction for making prayer veils for ladies inspired me to be more convicted in my faith towards God and the calling He has given me as a wife and daughter.

    As as side note, I LOVE lace! :)


    Blessings to you!

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    Replies
    1. May you be blessed in your calling and vocation!
      Pax Christi!
      :)

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Pax Christi!
~Michelle